Question by pinkgirl298: In this piece of written work, do you think it’s better to eliminate the ()s and examples in them ?
Its a part of an overview that I’m writing of my project.
Also if you can change anything there to improve the writing quality of that, please note them too.I should submit an overview of my project to institutes of higher education. Please tell you ideas.
I sought to record the patterns of policies and behaviors associated with E-learning tools, such as collaboration tools (e.g., Audio and Video conferencing, E-mail, Online discussion boards, Chat, Online meeting tools), Authoring tools (e.g., Authorware, Web course builder), Multimedia tools (e.g., Flash, Macromedia Director, Adobe Live Motion), Video Tools (e.g., Movie Maker, Video Studio, Premiere), Testing and Assessment tools (e.g., Course Builder for Dreamweaver), Audio tools (e.g., MultiTrackStudio, Cool Edit Pro), Animation tools (e.g., Cool 3-D, WebDraw, Animation Master, etc), Web Authoring tools (e.g., Microsoft Frontpage, Macromedia Dreamweaver, Adobe Golive), Virtual World tools (e.g., AC3D, Art of Illusion) and tools for accessing E-learning contents like Web-browsers (e.g., Internet Explorer (IE) and Netscape Navigator) introduced, their capabilities noted and weak and strong points of each one in different applications compared, and the share of standards and specifications such as SCORM and AICC in E-learning tools were indicated.
Answer by Rackbrane
That is a very long and complex sentence, making it difficult for the reader to maintain interest long enough to absorb the information.
I would split it into separate lists with numbers and bullet points, leaving out Latin abbreviations such as i.e, e.g., etc.
I sought to record the patterns of policies and behaviors associated with E-learning tools. These can be divided into [number] categories.
Then write a numbered paragraph for each category:
1. Collaboration Tools, including:
(a) Audio and Video conferencing
(c) Online discussion boards
(e) Online mentoring tools.
2. Authoring tools, including:
and so on.
By the time I get to this bit:
introduced, their capabilities noted
I am unable to see how it forms part of the same sentence. Consider rewriting that part, once you have spelled out what the tools are you intend to research.
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